Imposter Syndrome? Let’s bring it in for a hug.
I’ve recently realized: Imposter syndrome doesn’t have to be the villain in your story.
I’ve been hearing SO MUCH about Imposter Syndrome everywhere, it’s kind of the new thing people use to give their issues a root cause.
Like, oh, I can’t get this done, it must be imposter syndrome. And then go on about their lives. Without changing. Gross.
But here’s the thing that I’ve realized recently: Imposter syndrome doesn’t have to be the villain.
I had this epiphany literally the other day. I was, frankly, annoyed that I was thinking about imposter syndrome again, having to pick myself up from the ground after putting myself down once again in my new business.
In my annoyance, I played devil’s advocate, and mocked to myself: Why is Imposter Syndrome so bad? Maybe it’s actually good?
And that’s where I came to a revelation: Maybe, just maybe, it is good. Let’s say it is.
So, Imposter Syndrome now is:
The little voice that forces us to check our blind spots.
The sign that we are reaching out beyond our comforts and sometimes, our capabilities.
And sometimes… and I can’t believe I’m saying this…maybe it’s necessary, because more than the passion and the desire, it’s realizing where you’re NOT that is actually fuel.
I have a lot of passions. A lot of desires. Yes, I am having a hell of a time finding this career path and building this business. I mean, I’m two years out of my last stable job, always promising to my husband that I’ll start making money soon… and realistically, I’ve just figured out what my business will actually be.
I’ve spent the last year sitting with my own loud, dramatic, borderline–Oscar-winning version of imposter syndrome. (Truly, she deserves her own trailer.) Surprisingly, my (healthy) dose of imposter syndrome has been helping me lately– I’ve really got to kick it, so I’ve GOT to keep going.
But more recently — really, the last couple of weeks — instead of trying to silence her, I’ve started listening.
I mean, it got this blog post written. Shrug.
Doubt, no doubt.
Doubt is annoying, sure. But doubt is also useful. Ha!
So buddhist philosophy sounding of me. Blegh.
But really, doubt is what makes a lot of things exciting in our lives — I know this especially in social situations, ESPECIALLY moving around so often and having to make new community every few years.
Meeting new people is always so intimidating, but always, afterwards, so exciting. It’s what makes networking feel like the biggest chore in the world — but also the biggest payoff.
Doubt — and imposter syndrome as its little sister — is not a sign you’re not good enough. I think in some ways, it’s your brain asking you to level up.
Over here under my roof, it’s usually me asking my husband to help be my hype man to level me up… but that’s same same, no?
If it’s anything I’ve learned as an adult — like, in my 40s, I-have-a-family type of adult — it’s this: doing easy things doesn’t really help you grow…it helps you feel like badass, sometimes, but it’s DOUBT that will really make you get to your next level.
OK BUT HERE IS THE KICKER:
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about doubt, about imposter syndrome and its roots, about how to “overcome” it all. Where does all our doubt come from?
It’s usually because of one of three things:
Not being good enough
Being too scared because you haven’t done it before
And not having the resources
Not having the experience, not having the encouragement, and not having the resources… yep, that’s definitely my recipe for sitting on your ass every day wiaiting for the good thing to happen.
I’ve hit this wall COUNTLESS times over the last couple years. And I will solve my paralysis of action but usually tackling just ONE of these things.
This is usually in the encouragement category.
And that is where mentorship becomes gold: someone who can show you the tricks, the shortcuts, and the mistakes they’ve already paid for.
The hardest? Asking for mentorship. That’ll be for another post, I think.
7 Ways to Embrace (Not Erase) Imposter Syndrome
1. Hear the loudest doubt.
Imposter syndrome is a freakin’ full choir in your head. Which one is screeching the loudest?
Identify the specific doubt so you can actually address it.
2. Get good at getting over yourself.
Harsh? Maybe. True? Definitely.
A big part of overcoming imposter syndrome is realizing you’re wrong sometimes. You don’t know everything (at least, I don’t). But the idea that you’re definitely an imposter? I mean, if you say it out loud, you realize how stupid you sound.
3. Take the next step anyway.
Once you recognize you can do something, the trick is actually… doing it. This is where I personally get stuck.
So… take a breath. Make a list. Set the deadline and, if you’re like me, physically make it a task in your Google Calendar. Put yourself on the clock.
Basically, use every Jedi mind trick at your disposal.
4. Seek counsel (not just compliments).
I’m great at networking. I’m terrible at vulnerably asking, “Hey… how do you actually see me?”
My husband is my main sounding board, but he’s also biased — he’ll tell me when I’m out of line, but he also thinks I’m the shit (humble-brag!). So I’m learning to build a circle that isn’t compromised by my adoring friends and family.
It’s a work in progress, but I’m figuring out — slowly — how to make these “business” connections of like-minded entrepreneurs. (This is actually my Q1 2026 Goal. More on this another time, too!)
5. Consume wisely.
I’ve learned, in these two years of trying to start my business, that maybe 80% of my time has been spent reading, learning, browsing, and doing what might seem trivial and non-important.
I do think I’ve taken a long time for this — if I were just starting out, I’d probably hurry it up a bit… but I think our inputs shape our confidence, above all else, which feeds into the part about having the knowledge above. I’m trying to surround myself with people who’ve been brave enough to go first — and avoid the content rabbit holes that simply suck up time.
6. Know that it doesn’t all come up front.
This might be a ME thing. But ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted everything to fall into place in the beginning. So I’m learning how to get by without having everything at once.
I can’t afford the exact support I want yet — so I’m taking on projects that help me save and get there.
And the nice part about this? Will I even need it in the end? Maybe. Maybe not. But having the goal keeps me focused and moving.
7. Walk the walk — until the walk feels natural.
“Fake it till you make it” might sound outdated, but it is so true. Maybe “practice until it feels true” is the better term. You won’t stop feeling like an imposter overnight.
But you can keep walking until eventually… you’re simply the person who does the thing now.
(Go watch Hit Man, with Glen Powell. This helped me come around to this revelation.)
The bottom line
Imposter syndrome isn’t a sign that we’re all failing. I think it’s a sign that we’re growing… on the precipice of something great, even!
So to all the other small biz owners out there: let’s NOT banish this! Let’s not buy into the movement that says it’s so bad. Let’s understand it, challenge it, and keep moving forward anyway.
And if you’re reading this thinking, “Same, girl… same” — I hope you’re already doing better than you think.